She Rides a Big Cat

Part of my "Pussy Got Pissed" show in May. I love cats  - they are interesting, quirky, soft and (at least sometimes) cuddly. But as someone also told me "They have never really been tame. If they were big enough they would definitely eat you." Here is a strong woman in charge of her power and her femininity. 

Pussies/Cats/What?

This is the original cat collage that incubated all the succeeding images that I've been working on. The pieces stem primarily from the cat drawings I was doing over the course of the year, even though initially I wanted to make a huge political statement. Then I realized that all these cats (pussies) are just that. There’s a couple that tie into current concerns directly – I’ll be posting them as I go.

Either/Or

Today, I very much wanted to go do retail therapy instead of working in my studio - I’ve become aware that I am increasingly angry, and also easily saddened - these days it is always all about you know who on tv, radio and social media and it gets to me. Somehow though I managed to hang in there, and just like you always hear, I am glad I showed up. All that energy erupted after several very staid hours, and now I’m in the closing stage of this painting. I can’t decide if I should call it “Pussy Got Pissed” or “A Black Cat Crossed His Path.” Maybe both. 24"x24", mixed media: sumi ink, charcoal, biro, sticks, latex gloves, acrylic paint, and various scraping tools.

Last weekend

It's the final three days to see three of my new pieces at Gallery 114, 1100 NW Glisan, Portland, OR in the Pearl District (across from Blicks). I've been obsessing about mark-making, really loving it. I will also have another two pieces up in the group show opening next Thursday as well. Would love to see you!

Muses in waiting

I am making a number of drawings right now in preparation for paintings. My thoughts linger on the role of cats under the current administration. I know, kinda random. Or maybe an interesting connection when you think about pussy grabbers.

Not a Damn Thing

It's been almost a month of cleaning up and doing manual labor in the flooded basement, getting ready for Christmas and guests – all told, I have just not done much. I am definitely ready to now proceed in a forward and productive direction!

Today though was another drifting day in the studio. Arghh! I practically despair when there's nothing going on, not a damn thing. I hunker down, don't go out At All, put myself down there for at least  two or three hours and just force myself to do something. Today, I decided to go to a matineé, when the requisite time was up since things were at a standstill. But think I'll just stay home and save it for another day. I'm interested in what is happening. Taking things apart (top photo). Only allowed to use material from the previous day (my restriction for myself). I don't think this is ready for a painting yet, but the direction is one I'm interested in. Two or three hours is really no time at all when things are percolating, even when unbeknownst to the percolator.

(Ahem)

Well....putting up an Etsy site is being a bit more complex than I realized! Plus, I am putting the basement back in order after an earlier flooding incident; ripping out carpet, painting and getting the foundation patching arranged is demanding a lot of necessary time however grudgingly given. Please msg me through FB or email me through this website - I would be glad to supply images and pricing. All cards are printed on yummy heavy stock, and I have a number of matted or framed prints of my ipad drawings as well. 

Into the Wilderness

Nicholas was born in Myra, so I'm kinda hooked on him. Not to be confused with Santa Claus, he spent all of his sizable inheritance on giving to children, the needy and his ministry to sailors. My holiday cards emphasize his search for those in need, no matter where it leads him. I will let you know when the site is up! May the spirit of this season of giving and generosity to those in need be yours. 

A Monastery, a Book, and a Cat

Settling into life as an artist after many years of a complex, very fulfilling “regular” job has been more challenging than I thought it would be. I was sure of what I would be doing (more art), how my day would go (10 a.m. – 5 p.m. in the studio) and what my main focus would be (more art). However, my spring painting marathon at the New York Studio School left me so stunned with the depth of the experience that the biggest activity I could undertake when I got back home was simply cleaning my studio. For several months. Also, for the first time in 18 years, I have had completely flexible time during the summer and yet, for the first time, my husband is working in the summer. My community of friends now includes more art-related relationships, another change, and although all this was good, I have been completely overwhelmed with my own expectations about how being an artist “should” play out.

Thank the Lord for friends who shared their wisdom and reassurance about the creative process during this time. I was also drawn to go on retreat with the Trappist monks at the Abbey of Our Lady of Guadalupe near Newberg, Oregon, and spent five days in silence. Afterward, I began reading a variety of spiritual texts as well as practical advice on the creative life, chief among those being “The Artist’s Rule” by Christine V. Paintner, and “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert.

 I worked extensively with several 7’x5’ images last year, but things have been shaking out in such a way right now that I am making small things; nothing has been larger than 11"x14". They are little building blocks to a new path; I call it “The Way of the Small,” after a card in the Tarot by the same name.

 As for cats,  it has been pointed out to me that my two kitties often play a role in my drawings and paintings. It is thus perhaps no surprise that Roxy (part-Siamese and 100% attention glutton) should be in my most recent drawing. It was such a delight to work into this piece. I may have been lost, and may still be lost, but there are signposts on the way like this drawing, friends with whom to consider the mysteries of art, and the love and support of family, no matter what outside work and responsibilities they may have. I was so worried! But as one of my favorite people once said “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” 

9/12/16 The Full and Inside Scoop

Sign up to be on my email list if you would like more information on upcoming shows and news! You will also get first look at new work, some of which will not be posted anywhere else. Emails will come out once a quarter, and you can discontinue at any time by contacting me via the website, Facebook or an email. To join, click on "Contact" and send me an email - I will put you on the list and send you an email to confirm. Thank you for your interest in my work!

9/7/16 Wedding Dresses Unite!

After two days of accompanying my dear daughter to try on wedding dresses, it was no wonder that they began making appearances in my studio. Have a feeling it won't be the last time!

8/25/16 Explosion

I was refining a small painting from the NYSS Westbury pleine air painting marathon, when suddenly the whole process exploded and the thing collapsed into a minimalist, abstract reminder of the landscape. There’s a sort of furiousness that takes over at times, and nothing I can really control.

7/30/16 Exquisite Corpse Strikes Again

Last week the gallery met for it's annual meeting to discuss big picture issues for which there isn't time during our monthly meetings. At the end, some of the members stayed to play "The Exquisite Corpse," a game stemming from the Dadaists where a piece of paper is folded into thirds, and a head, body and bottom of the drawing are all drawn by different people who can't see the other sections. There was no specific assignment other than that for the drawings, and the resulting composites are all unusual, interesting and unique - and quite good depictions of the nature of a cooperative gallery. Disparate, yet creating one group united in common purpose of operating a cooperative art and exhibition space while nurturing each person's artistic goals and vision. I loved doing it - it really encapsulated our wonderful membership. And since I participated, I count them for part of my daily drawings!

7/18/16 A Balance of Solitudinous

In "An Absorbing Errand," Jenna Malamud Smith observes that "many people who aspire to make art stall out in their effort...often their mistake is, ironically, to make it too...solitudinous." It is, she says, important to find the balance between working in solitariness, and being in solitude. I'm finding this a useful thought, becoming aware that one of my favorite times to be in my studio is when my husband is gardening. When family members are in the midst of a discussion, that's a time I pull out my sketchbook. There are many other ways that this dynamic happens too of course. In a kind of counterintuitive way, I feel connected and yet I can also be in solitude, and not always solitary in my pursuits in the studio. The external life and the internal life of art making is so intertwined.

7/5/16 "If you are doing the work, it hurts"

This quote by Graham Nickson pretty much sums up the experience of the painting marathon I just attended at the New York Studio School. Although I have attended three other marathons, this was my first one for painting. Although I paint, I was feeling that I actually didn't know how to do it. There was more to it than I understood, and I wanted that more.

I was in for a grueling treat. Up at 6:30, dashing out the door at 7:30 a.m. to find breakfast, lunch, coffee and snacks and be sure my brushes, palette and canvases were in order, I climbed on the school's bus to head for the Westbury Gardens. At 8:30 at night, post brush cleanup at the school, I stumbled back to my Airbnb, totally beat, and had something to eat about 9:30 p.m. Such was the intensity that I didn't even stop painting at night. Random thoughts came along as I drifted off to sleep, and they were all formed with brushes making paintings. Oy.

We were at the Gardens painting outdoors for three days a week and in the studio two days a week. I had changed my medium from acrylics to oil paints after a couple of days, just because I couldn't resist the colors available in oils – not to mention that they were the ones the class was using for the assigned palettes each day. That decision was no light thing. It meant I could learn more about color, make more of them, and also, importantly, doing the same thing as the rest of the group. It really wasn't the place to be doing my own thing, although no one had insisted that I use oils, and indeed there was lots of understanding about why I was using acrylics. When I changed though, one of the consequences was not only increasing my learning curve but also scrambling to keep up in terms of having the needed supplies. It all worked out, but it was another thing that added to the personal chaos that the marathon was bringing to me.

I became aware of how fraught with fear I was – facing the canvas every day and being confronted with color, the rigor of being outside, and of the assignments themselves. Every day, my instructors gave me “the talk” (or one of “the talks"), constantly assaulted as I was by doubts and anxieties. I can't say enough good things about the value of studying with Graham Nickson and also with Fran O'Neil. Their comments on painting, life, and the internal process have been irreplaceable as they have shooed me along the path of developing as a painter. 

In terms of the actual logistics of painting, I started out trying to have some sort of coherent plan, attempting to access some sort of philosophy about making those first marks. I abandoned that after a few days and had to just dive in because at this particular stage in my development I just got too bogged down otherwise and couldn’t make a move. Once several marks had been made, I was “in” - carried by the tide of the process, lost in observation, and the complicated decisions of observation entwined with color. I had thought drawing was difficult, but painting is far more complex and exceedingly harder. In fact, drawing, a long time friend, simply leaped out the window and vanished. And I found the same challenges as ever with mixing paints – not enough room on the palette, the nuances that weren’t quite right, and discerning values amidst all the chaos of the color in the Great Outdoors was overwhelming. But I soldiered on. 

There have been times in past drawing marathons where I have made something plausible with a sense of culmination at the end. This time, I counted myself fortunate to produce canvases that maybe approached solving the problems posed by the various assignments. One of them, I couldn't even finish; this made the rest even more precious. I chalked this up to making studies and examples of various questions that come up, and tried to make images that held in their space through the color choices. I shipped them all home, knowing that those assignments will bear on my work for a long time to come and take years to truly understand.

On the last day, I had never been more aware of how much more study and work will be needed in order to make the progress that I want to make. Worn out and listless, I wondered if I had what it takes to actually be a painter – it’s incredibly hard. I countered this with the thought that what matters is showing up and getting going even if it only seems like going through the motions - that thought itself a sign of progress. (Could I be learning to give myself “the talk?”) Weary as I was, I picked up the brush and miraculously – it was enough. I was carried away into the complex tide of color and decisions, the urgency of putting paint down, of discovering the deep color of Indian Red (yes, the company needs to change that name), and caput mortum. The final painting was unresolved and awkward in many ways - but I was happy. The work of the marathon had begun to carve a path with new tools towards a more intentional and full painting practice.

The learning curve was steep, and I'm still on it. It was a big challenge, hugely rewarding and even fun in its own excruciating way. I was taken seriously as an artist, I had the support and psychic space to learn and I really loved being in NYC. My teachers and mentors were awesome, responding with wisdom and advice as I worked through both the painting, the challenges of the materials, and my state of mind. There’s lots of work to come – I am grateful for this start.

6/15/16 Homeward Bound

My first commission completed and delivered to its new owner today. I am very pleased that the painting was so well received and that it has a new and happy home. Yay!

6/9/16 Heartening →

A very timely article for those wondering if they even have a trajectory - which I do wonder about at times. Just keep trying to do the work. As Ben Franklin would say "Every little makes a mickle!" And yes, “mickle” is a word, even though my third grade teacher didn't even think so! The Scots, though, know better.

://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2015/nov/15/seven-ages-of-an-artist-laura-cumming?CMP=share_btn_fb

6/7/16 Mending Brokenness

This from my good friend Andrea Rosselle this morning (https://www.facebook.com/andrea.rosselle?fref=ts). Andrea is a sculptor, and a wonderful teacher, and teaches ceramics in the Middle School at Oregon Episcopal School. It was very moving to me.

I received a wonderful letter from a parent yesterday. This year someone in one of my classes made the choice to break 5 of the clay gargoyles that my students had made. It was obviously intentional since they also took the broken pieces with them. I was distraught, I usually spend a long time making sure things remain intact and make it home as safe as possible. But this year on top of the few breaks that always happen with ceramics, I had these ones which were intentionally broken as well. I decided due to the number of broken pieces that I needed to alter this act of vandalism or the happenstance of mistakes by repairing the pieces and adding gold to them, in the tradition of Kintsugi. A practice where you fill in the broken spots with actual gold. I ordered a small bottle of real gold paint online and repaired every gargoyle in this tradition. We then displayed them- broken gold filled places and all.

This past week I had the kids wrap them up to take home, and yesterday I received an email from a parent explaining that when her piece arrived home, he knew immediately what the gold meant, having seen the practice before. What was even more wonderful was how he explained that while his daughter was confused that someone would intentionally break her art, that she wasn't angry at all, that with the gold it was somehow new and more special. The father was grateful, and wanted me to know how much more the gargoyle now meant. It's wonderful when something that was never meant for good, turns into good anyways!

5/29/16 Prepping

I had thought I would paint this landscape without drawing first. I expected it would be quick and easy, as the shapes in the Gorge are fairly repetitive and simple. But - it didn't work. I was bored, tried to convince myself the work was OK, and then finally, in desperation, I was driven to really look and find the relationships between shapes. How inefficient, to have all these steps! However, how much more inefficient it was to skip them! So. Now, I'm back in the game. Today I'll spend time with the relationships of colors in a different study. I was looking for shortcuts, but none to be had. Instead, I'm making progress.

2/25/16 Gleaned

Great studio visit with the wonderful Kim Lakin today. Her collages, fashioned from hand cut materials  gleaned from garbage dumps (!) are riveting, dynamic and minimalist. Love her work.